During the COVID-19 pandemic, isolation and stress have been paramount, and that has pushed many human beings in recovery to relapse. We recently wrote about relapse in women.
However, Men additionally have their special set of challenges.
Along these lines, many guys have observed themselves in unprecedented circumstances this previous year.
For example, a male patient currently shared with me how devastating he found the transition to quarantining. Not only was he unexpectedly caught at home full-time, however additionally his university and high school-aged children had been attending classes remotely. He previously helped coach their lacrosse games, which have been additionally shut down.
In one fell swoop, so many factors that he depended on to provide his life structure and cause have been gone. Additionally, his mother and father had fitness problems and he could not visit. Suddenly, he found himself in terrible emotional pain, and he noticed his children and parents struggling as well.
This was compounded by the truth that all his usual outlets for dealing with stress had been no longer available. There was actually nowhere he should go to find relief, even in his very own house. He was struggling to guide everybody else, and all the while he used to no longer caring for himself, which eventually led to his relapse.
Just as it did with this male patient, the overwhelming nature of the pandemic pulled the rug out from many others. And for these men who are used to being a rock for anyone around them, discovering themselves in such conditions can be emotionally debilitating. Although vulnerability – and admitting you want assistance – is the very key to recovery, expressing it can be terrifying to many guys as they try to stay robust for every person else in a crisis.
Men struggle with the practice of vulnerability
Vulnerability can be uncomfortable for men. In a tradition that frequently teaches guys that displaying emotion is a signal of weakness and that they need to prize self-reliance, it takes practice to say, “I want help,” and then, even extra importantly, to actively receive that help. So, to then be confronted with an ailment like addiction, where they have to admit that they can’t manage the whole thing on their own, is very difficult. We are asking them to share emotions and experiences they may also not even understand they’re carrying. For a man, who is not used to intimacy, that can be terrifying.
However, the exercise of vulnerability is one of the most effective skills a man can build. It is a tool that helps to heal and minimizes the potential for relapse. The exercise of vulnerability helps to set up the emotional flexibility to cope with stress in a productive way.
The function of lingering childhood trauma
So much of relapse in guys ties back to emotional difficulties, together with unresolved troubles from early life. Traumatic childhood experiences can stem from emotional, physical, psychological, or sexual abuse or grief over the loss of a parent or cherished one. Children experience trauma in special ways, and it’s not uncommon for adults to have these childhood experiences triggered during stressful times.
They additionally sometimes foster the core beliefs: I’m not worthy. I’m not good enough. I’m no longer lovable. Understanding these foundational experiences and bad core beliefs and then working through them with a behavioral professional is key to re-engaging after a relapse and recommitting to recovery.
Many times, guys will additionally struggle from developing up in a family where the effect of substance use or mental fitness troubles had been profound however not addressed. In fact, they may also have discovered not to discuss or share what was going on and instead found approaches to break out painful feelings, which can lead to unhealthy coping behavior.
I’m a firm believer in the concept that it is less complicated to intervene earlier on in the relapse method – which consists of unhealthy behaviors that begin to take over before a man even selects a drink or drug again. That said, constructing a bridge back to recovery comes down to many areas. These include thorough assessment, patient-centric individuals and group therapy, family guide, treatment, and an individualized aftercare plan.